Children Playing with Fire

Luke 9:
52And he sent messengers ahead of him, who went and entered a village of the Samaritans, to make preparations for him. 53But the people did not receive him, because his face was set toward Jerusalem. 54And when his disciples James and John saw it, they said, "Lord, do you want us to tell fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” 55But he turned and rebuked them. 56And they went on to another village.

There is more than one thing, as usual, you can pull from this scripture.  There is hope for me even though I have been following Christ for some time and still mess it up a lot.  This verse is in Luke after the disciples have been in Christ’s presence for some time, having seen many miracles and yet they still don’t understand Him.  I mean, c’mon, when did Jesus ever do something like that?  He time and time again had compassion on the people in His midst.  And yet His disciples are full of judgement and wrath.

I picture a child with a new toy when I read this verse.  May be a 10 year old boy got a rocket for Christmas.  Daddy, can I hit the button, can I, can I, can I... watch it fly into the sky, please, now, now, please let me.  The disciples have seen Jesus perform miracles.  They have seen His power.  They have also already been sent out to preach, heal, cast out demons and so they know they have been given extraordinary power as well.  This verse is pretty soon after they were sent out and exercised this power on their own for the first time.  They are like kids with a new toy.  In a way it’s almost funny.

But what a lack of love.  No grace, no mercy, no love.  “Jesus they rejected you, let’s exterminate them from the face of the earth.”  How can you have a reaction like that after hanging out with Christ for so long?  We (I) do it all the time.  There will be a time of judgement when the Father does pour out wrath on those who live in rebellion against Him.  But Christ came to seek and to save the lost.  We preach a gospel of hope and mercy, not one of fear and forced submission.  

I wonder what that rebuke was like... “How about I tell fire to come down and consume you!?... I will be crucified in a couple of weeks and you will reject me as well.  Do you want me to obliterate you?  How about I pick one moment in your life, as you reject me and put aside my mercy and my patience and judge you?  Do you not understand me at all yet?”  (He actually does ask them that question many times in the gospels).

It makes no sense that when we remember the grace that Christ has poured out to us, and is still pouring out, that we do not in turn pour it out onto others... then we would see God using us to draw people to Himself.

2011 & Spiritual Growth

I have to start this blog post with a short note, lest you think I am complaining or have lost perspective on how ‘good’ I have it:  I have had an easy life.  And not only when compared to those in other countries who have nothing, but compared to people in America as well.  I don’t even know the beginning of hardship.

But as far as my life has gone so far - 2011, and specifically the 3rd quarter of 2011, was tough.  I think it was the most difficult few months of my life.  The ‘highlight’ of this period was Dad’s trip to the ICU after going into septic shock.  I still don’t think I comprehend the weightiness of how serious this situation actually was.  Other events within this 3 month period included trips to the ER with Tiffany, Zac and myself all making visits, in one degree of severity or another.  Most of them included the factor of not knowing if the situation was serious or not, and my visit was merely an inconvenience.  

In all of these I was left with lots of time and lots of prayers and plenty of thinking about Christ, my faith, my circumstances and how exactly they all relate to one another.  It’s been just over the last 18 months or so I’ve slowly started noticing that even though I did not desire to hold such beliefs, my beliefs were very unbiblical.  My prayers and my thoughts treat God as if He owes me something, as if He were a genie to answer my whims when I desire.  I am thankful these lies have been brought to my attention.  

God is good!  But not because Dad didn’t die, Tiffany & Eli are healthy, Zac was ok and I didn’t cut my finger off...  Any of these, or even all of these, could have gone the other way and my hope is that if they had I would still praise Him and love Him.  It is so easy, even in the good churches and around the right people to start believing God is good because He heals (which He does do) or because He provides (which he does do), etc.  But Christ’s death on the cross did not buy my health, it did not buy my being able to make my mortgage payment, it did not buy my comfort.  It bought my salvation.  My hope is in a future date when Christ will restore!  He paid my debt so that I could have Him.  A relationship with my creator.  I wish I understood this more than I do.  If my greatest joy is Christ, then my greatest joy can NEVER be taken from me, because that relationship on the cross has been purchased once and for all.  But when I am honest, I find that my greatest joy is not Christ... it’s the other things I have listed and those things were not purchased on the cross, they can at any moment be taken from me.  And until they become less so that Christ can become more I am at risk of losing what I treasure most in this life, which is not the reality of a child of God.  I know this is where my joy lies because while I wish I could say with Paul that I rejoice in my afflictions because they bring me closer to God - I do not.  I have a heart that is far from God and loves me more than Him.  And I am hesitant to ask God to change my heart because I fear the ways in which He will do it.  I agree with part of a sermon I heard by Matt Chandler when he made the point that what we often times think are blessings are in fact judgement from God.  I think my fear that my comfortable life is seducing me away from Jesus is growing stronger than my fear of affliction, which of course scares me :) but I hope that it will continue.

I am becoming desperately more aware of my need for Christ despite the appearance of what the world would call a ‘good person.’  For that I am thankful.  (If you have any interest in listening to someone preach the Gospel in every word with passion and love listen to Matt Chandler who I have to credit for a lot my maturing in this area as I listen to his sermons.)


Casting Crowns - Praise You in This Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

Habakkuk 3:17-19
“Though the fig tree should not blossom,
  nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
  and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
  and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
   I will take joy in the God of my salvation.
GOD, the Lord, is my strength;
   he makes my feet like the deer’s;
  he makes me tread on my high places.”

Zac: Mr. Vocabulary

Hanging out in the end table

Zac has an enormous vocabulary.  It amazes me every day the things that he says.  When the Drs. asked how many words he could say I didn’t have a clue... 15, 20, that can’t be right.  So I have decided to begin listing them so I can count them and keep track.  

Zac is delayed in his gross motor skills and currently this translates into him being almost 15 months old and not walking yet.  Although, he has now started walking behind toys and cruising the couch very well.  He was evaluated at 14 months old and was at a 10 month old level for walking.  However, in the same evaluation his verbal and problem solving skills were around the 19 month level.  I had to make this blog post vs. just listing it for myself because any parent who is worth anything has to brag on their kids every now and then right? :)  

Since Zac is a little mocking bird and will repeat just about anything, I will only include words that I know he comprehends.  They are words that he can point to the object and identify or use in the proper context (such as hello and bye bye).  Also, some are obviously more clear than others, but all listed are distinct and identifiable.

Taking a  picture in Iowa

Eating a hot dog on July 4th

1. book
2. night night
3. diaper
4. bath
5. duck, quack quack
6. doggie
7. puppy, wuff wuff
8. meow
9. hat
10. shoes
11. pants
12. eyes
13. nose
14. neck
15. mouth
16. lips
17. teeth (this one is brand new, not consistent yet)
18. ears
19. belly
20. toes
21. knees (learned it last night, caught on pretty quick, we’ll count it)
22. dada
23. daddy
24. mama
25. mommy
26. bye
27. hi
28. hello (waves during bye, hi and hello with a real quick shoot of the arm straight up)
29. cars
30. truck
31. outside
32. Rachel (one of his first surprisingly, he LOVES cousin Rachel apparently!)
33. Luke
34. Nay Nay (Aunt Renee)
35. Papa
36. Tay Tay (Aunt Taylor)
37. Gigi
38. Mimi (Grammy, but he chooses to say Mimi)
39. Juice
40. Milk
41. Grapes
42. Peas
43. meat
44. cup
45. water (in a cup and identifies the river as water)
46. cereal
47. mail (also one of his first)
48. boat
49. paper
50. what’s that (repeats it non stop while pointing at everything in the room until you tell him)
51. t.v. (pretty new, but knows it real well!)
52. baby
53. paci
54. push
55. touch
56. hot ( i think he thinks hot means touch though, we’ll have to correct that!)
57. shells
58. lawn mower (within the last few weeks, we saw a man mowing on a walk and said lawn mower about 10 times and then a few days later he repeated it without prompting while watching me mow... not sure how he picks it up so fast).
59. phone (working on cell phone, he’s almost got it)
60. remote
61. monkey
62. owl (his pillow from Mrs. Allison)
63. potty (he doesn't get the concept for himself, but if you go into the bathroom he says potty)
64. nasty (ok he definitely doesn't get this fully, but he says this when you go into the bathroom, which I find hilarious)
65. picture

Most of these are months old also.  I know I have forgotten at least a few, it’s hard to remember all of them.  He has started putting two words together also, but doesn’t do this very often.  Tiffany has heard him say “dada work” and “mama home” and “where’s dada”. I have heard him say "potty nasty" but I don't think I'd count that since he doesn't know what it means...

Washing dishes in Iowa

El Dia del Padre

I absolutely love being a dad.  It provides some of the greatest moments I think I will ever experience.  I've always loved kids and wanted kids of my own... ever since I was a kid myself.  Toddlers are great.  They say the craziest things.  Rachel (my niece) is almost 3 and is hilarious.  And cute as a button to boot.  It's easy to guess that I had high very high expectations going into parenthood.  Generally speaking, such unhealthy expectations lead to un-met expectations and disappointment.  However, mine have been far exceeded if you can believe it!  I could have never imagined the emotion, joy, pain, love, laughter, etc. etc. that have come in just 14 short months... well in just a few short hours actually, the very first day of Zac's post-womb life.

I could have never imagined or predicted the feeling that comes from something as simple as walking in the door after work.  If there is one thing I enjoy about being gone all day, it's the greeting when you get home.  They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  On a typical day, Zac sits in the sun room playing with some old pureed prune cups that have been re purposed as little containers and toys.  Ma-ma prepares dinner.  I'll swing by the mailbox and head into the house.  Sometimes Zac will hear me and come scooting towards me, but sometimes Tiffany has to tell him I'm home.  Last night, she called to him and said Da-da is home, but apparently he thinks ma-ma is not always telling the truth, b/c he didn’t budge.  So I peaked around the corner of the kitchen door and spotted him with his seashells and containers.  He saw me immediately and shells and containers went flying across the room as he belly flopped onto the tile floor and was off chanting daddy, daddy, daddy all the way through the sun room, through the dining room, into the kitchen around the high chair and counter until he got to me where he continued to chant daddy while bouncing on his belly with his arms straight out waiting to be picked up.  He kind of looks like a fish out of water at this point.  Once picked up he starts asking for the mail and I'm not his focus anymore.  But he is still mine.  Nothing, not even a much better written description than the one above, can convey the feeling at that moment.  You truly have to experience it to believe it.


I hate that my little man is growing so fast.  Baby Zac is gone.  Only in my memories and photos will I ever see him again.  Dramatic, I know, but it is true.  Toddler Zac is here and I love him just as much.  I hate that with every new stage, the old is gone forever.  Luckily the new stage is always enjoyable enough to make up for it!  

I can’t wait to see who he will be as a 3 year old, 10 year old, 25 year old!  I look forward to the things I will do with him then.  I can't wait to share my interests with him (this has already begun!) and to find out what different interest he has. And to pass on things I learned from my dad.  A large part of why I was so excited to be a parent is because I had such great parents and want to pass what I've learned on. I hope that I can be as good of a dad as mine has been... I have learned from one of the best.  I’ve learned to attend all Zac’s sporting events, even if he is just warming the bench.  To make him follow through on commitments and then thank me 10 years later for encouraging him not to quit.  To show him how to love his wife by watching me love Tiffany.  To perfectly balance challenging him to be better while showing him that I am already proud of his accomplishments.  To teach him the things that are most important in life above all the stuff and noise that the culture tells us is important.  All of which I have learned by watching.  I can’t wait... but at the same time I know it is going to come too fast.  


So for now, I’ll slow life down as often as possible and enjoy the belly scooting, daddy chanting little 14 month old that loves me unconditionally.

Who am I & Who do I WANT to Be?

Who do I want to be?  Implied within the question is who do I want to be perceived as.  or Who do I want others to say that I am?  But the more important question is, who do I want to be even if it is not recognized by my peers?  and more importantly, if I do in fact achieve those qualities, will I be satisfied even if it is not validated by others?


"Our deepest desire - for significance - finds satisfaction in the esteem of God"
- "When Faith is Not Enough" Kelly James Clark

Birth - A Man's Perspective (FINAL Part)

I can hear your applause from my house.  It sounds like the RBC center when the refs finally call a foul on UNC.  I told you way back that you didn't have to read the whole thing.  It's your own fault you've wasted all this time reading my thoughts about Zac's birth.  Ha, that's how I got you into this whole thing, telling you it was about his birth and then proceeding to write about everything from conception to whatever is included in this final post. 

"Get on it with already!"  sorry...

How to wrap it up?  If I haven't mentioned it already, take a birthing class.  Take a birthing class!  We highly recommend The Bradley Method.  Looking back I can't imagine how anyone goes into labor and delivery without some sort of extended class ahead of time.  It made all the difference in the world for our experience.  I can't believe it's been a year and a few months since we found out Tiffany was pregnant.  Life is already going by so fast.  Zac is 6 months old and doing amazing!  I love him so much as I can tell Tiffany does too.  He's so funny, animated and has an awesome personality.  Usually having high expectations creates disappointment.  But having a son has been better than I could have ever imagined.  I love it!  I can't wait to start teaching him things.  To teach him to like things I like and to find out what he likes.  To see myself in him and to see differences in him.  God creates us all with a purpose and with likes and dislikes.  I really like a lot of things I do, but I think God created me to be a Dad.  I think everyone should have kids if God gives them the ability, but I really think He gave me an extra desire to be a Dad (see below for how many kids we want).  It took so many posts to get just this stuff out, and I left out so much I could have said.  I wish you could see it in video format! :)  (That doesn't exist by the way).  But you still barely have a glimpse of the emotions and everything we experienced during this. 

Well, I guess I will leave you with that.  I also must mention, Tiffany was nothing like what I hear pregnant women are like.  She had no weird cravings in the middle of the night.  I never had to make a run to McDonald's at 2 am.  It was pretty much normal living with her when she was pregnant.  I guess I'm lucky.  And during delivery, there was no "YOU DID THIS TO ME" or anything.  It was really a great experience.

That is all for now.  We still plan to have 3-4 more children at this point.  So you can stay tuned.  After all, I will have to write 6 blog posts for each of them, or else they will feel less loved because we were less excited about them, or love them less because they weren't the first child.  :)  Thanks for reading, I have enjoyed sharing it.

Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 5)

Stage 4: Stuck in the Hospital

So Zac is sleeping, or laying around or whatever, either way the labor is over and I don't remember what was going on now but things were peaceful.  I had a banana around 9 am. and some water throughout the day.  I didn't get any ice cream when the nurses did.  So this is where I go through some nausea and get some dinner in me.  I slept well that night.  Nurses were in and out, Tiffany is talking to them, can't hold my eyes open.  She's nursed Zac once I think.  I was there for that.  My eyes open, they're helping her back from the bathroom.  Then it's morning.  Monday morning... we're probably going home this afternoon.  Nausea again, real bad, for me.  Lack of food I think.  The nurses won't check me out, I'll have to go to the ER for that, I'm not doing that, I manage to get some food in me and things are ok again.  Monday is spent watching TV, having nurses do check ups (we've met 10 of them now probably).  They're all pretty nice, of course we have our favorites.  Nursing isn't going so well.  That junk is hard!  And you have to be committed if you're going to make it.  (I'm talking 3-4 weeks, 6-8 weeks after birth nursing was HARD!).  They have a specialist who helps.  She's a little pushy.  From my perspective she's slamming Zac's head into his 'plate', I couldn't eat that way.  Another lady was much more gentle and Zac appeared to like her better as well.  His temp was up and down on Monday and something else wasn't so great, I forget what.  So we have to hang around until that stabilizes.  We are one checkup away from him being put in the incubator and taken from us.  If this checkup isn't normal temp and consistent with the last we'll be alone in our room and he'll be alone in some crib somewhere.  It was consistent!  Another hurdle cleared.  It's too late to come home though.  We're staying another night.  

That second night wasn't bad either.  I had nausea again Tuesday morning until I managed to get some food down... I don't know what the deal was.  No we're hanging around and they won't let us go because Zac hasn't pooped yet.  Um... that's because he got all of it out in the womb.  He also hadn't peed yet, which was a little worrisome.  Just let us go home, he'll pee eventually!  I think around 12 he finally peed and I don't think we've ever been so relieved in our lives!  Another 2 or 3 hours went by before they checked us out.  (The nursing was a bigger ordeal than it reads, so was this whole not peeing thing and his temperature fluctuating, I could write a book if I went into all the details).  It was just one thing after another and it felt soooooo good to get in the car around 5 pm on Tuesday to go home.  

Every nurse we had, 3 or 4 during delivery, complemented Tiffany and I on the labor process.  They had never seen a couple handle things so well.  (I'm not exaggerating, or trying to brag).  But it was nice to have that recognition.  After all, we put a lot of prep into this with a 12 week class and all the other prep the class had us do on our own time.  Having that class was great!  Have I mentioned that already? :)  And apparently it showed with how we carried ourselves in the hospital.  I know it did with Tiffany because I was watching her.  

She made it without an epidural or any pain killers... nothing!  We did do some pitocin to increase contractions, but that lasted about 45 minutes compared to many hours for a typical hospital birth.  Even through 3.5 hours of pushing Tiffany was able to handle the pain.  Looking back, neither of us would change a thing about how it went down.  It was such a growing experience and brought us so much closer together having to get through the adversity we went through.  I know many labor and birth stories are more trying than ours, but this was by far the most difficult, scariest thing I've ever been through and I'm glad we were in it together.  Tiffany was amazing, and I find it hard to believe that anybody, anywhere has labored better than she did that day.    

(Hang in there, you're doing great.  Only 1 more post!)

Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 4)

Stage 3-B: Labor & Delivery (In the Hospital)

So we made our way back to the hospital.  The mid-wife called ahead for us and our mission was accomplished... we had waited long enough that we skipped triage and went straight into a labor and delivery room.  Well, almost straight in.  First was the stop at the desk to give ALL your personal info to the lady behind the desk.  Tiffany is now sitting in a chair having contractions every 2-3 minutes and the lady insists "I know honey, just a few more questions".  As she asked the last question (from her that is, no where near the actual last question) our mid-wife walked in.  We were lead to our room.  Finally!  It's really happening now, we are in the room where we will see our son.  I'm thinking just another 2 may be 3 hours at the most now.  It's 2 pm, if I remember correctly.  Could be a little earlier.  We get our first of 4 or 5 nurses that we would go through.  She continues the questions.  I try to answer them all, but apparently she just didn't get it.  She insisted on directing every question to Tiffany even though I kept answering them all.... um... hello, she's in labor and I'm just standing here.  I will be glad to answer your questions for you.  thank you :)  In between the barrage of questions the nurse and mid-wife both yell to the other nurse in the hall "I'll have a sundae".  Wait, what?  My wife is in late stages of labor and you're ordering ice cream...  We found out the following day they come around every afternoon and apparently not even delivery can keep these women from getting their ice cream.  Tiffany kept her breathing very steady, normal and deep as we had learned.  None of this special breathing stuff which can lead to hyperventilation.  Tiff was up and walking around and leaning on me during contractions. 

Then it came, only 30 minutes or an hour into being at the hospital.  The urge to push.  Exam, 9 cm.  Crap.  Ok we'll wait.  May be 15-30 more minutes.  Ok, I have to push.  Exam, still about 9 cm, but probably ok if you want to push.  Ok we're pushing.  (hindsight is 20-20, too early to push).  This is where it gets fun.

We're now pushing, ok sorry, Tiffany is pushing.  I'm moral support.  But we're in this together and I'd argue (with Tiffany's agreement) she couldn't have done this with out me.  So yes, we're pushing now.  The mid-wife and our second nurse (i think we're on nurse two now) are very encouraging.  We're prepared, pushing can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours for a normal pregnancy.  We're shooting for the 30 minute mark, but that came and went.  We're in different labor positions.  The mid-wife says we're making progress (I think now she was lying to us).  The hour mark slides by, the 1.5 hour mark slides by, we're now around 2 hours of pushing with each contraction every 1.5 -2 minutes.  I can see the toll it's taking on Tiffany and her energy.  The mid-wife tells us we're making progress, I can't see any.  I don't think Tiffany can feel any.  This is when I start to realize our 'typical', 'normal' birth may not be.  I'm a little nervous at this point, but still under control and calm.  Tiffany appears as though it's not phasing her a bit.  No worry or anything.  All business. 

Calling a Dr. is now mentioned... I think by us.  We're asking, how much longer will you let us go without intervening.  (usually hospitals will only allow you to be in the pushing phase for 2 hours max before intervening).  Our mid-wife continues to stall us, knowing that we don't want to call the Dr.  She knew our birth plan, and knew we were only asking out of fear or whatever it was, so she stalled us.  I am very thankful for that.  We decided around 2.5-3 hours to hook Tiffany up to an IV to get some pitocin to make the contractions stronger.  This will help in pushing Zac out... and it did.  15-20 minutes in, after the pitocin was increased, I saw the little guy's head.  I thought surely we're home free.  But that was it as far as the progress goes for another 30 minutes probably (i'm not sure if my time is adding up correctly).  This is about where I lost it.  I was pissed.  Mostly with God.  Why are you putting my wife through this.  This is painful, this is exhausting.  STOP IT PLEASE!  I mean, she's been pushing somewhere around 3hrs or a little more now.  It's never freaking going to end!  Tiffany very calmly (she was very calm in between contractions, and even calm during them) asked me what was the matter ( I admit it, I was crying).  what... she's asking me what's wrong?  That's right, she was so strong through the whole thing!  I was/am so very proud of her.  The decision is made for the doctor to come in.  I'm back in control of myself now.  Just a little 5 minute lapse there... I'm entitled, Tiffany was too, but she chose not to have her moment... just as well.  The Dr. explains our options in between contractions.  We choose the vacuum.  Zac was basically turned and not coming on his own.  Vacuum was the best option we thought vs c-section, which no body really thought was necessary and the vice grips, or whatever they are.  So the Dr. prepares the vacuum, it's not what I expected.  No hoover or anything.  A simple, manual suction tool.  3 pushes and Zac is out!  We have son!  Dr. screams NICU... man they are there in 30 seconds.  They look like the cast from The Big Bang Theory and they're in the corner with Zac only talking amongst themselves.  Zac is crying, he's breathing, he's ok, they're sucking his poop out of his lungs (he had the meconium stuff going on, like father like son).  Tiff and I have a moment to rejoice, to relax.  The Dr. starts stitching her up.  We talk with him.  It's actually a very pleasant conversation and atmosphere.  He left a bible study to come deliver Zac... they're all praying for the delivery.  God is good.  I was screaming and cussing at him earlier, He makes sure to take the time to reassure me He was in this.  He's got this.  He knows what He's doing.  I apologize to Him and thank Him.  My God is good.  Our plans changed some in this story, but His never did. 

Zac is clean now and I get to go check him out.  Um... excuse me, can someone tell me if his head will ever be normal?  There's a ring from the vacuum, not to mention his head is a cone!  Yea yea, that will all take care of itself.... Ok, but I'm putting this beanie on his head when I take pictures so people won't notice :)  You will not find a picture from the hospital without that beanie on his head, I mad sure of it that such a picture does not exist.  I was worried about this, it was kind of creepie I will admit (I hear all babies come out that way, and it is normal now, well as normal as mine anyway). 

Ahhh... relief.  We're done.  7.30 pm on Sunday.  Haha, yea right.... we didn't leave the hospital for another 45 hours....

Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 3)

Finally!  The post on the actual labor and birth!  The only thing I thought I was going to blog about when I started what has turned into a little mini series...  I even skipped over the whole naming process, ultra-sounds, nursery prep, baby showers, pregnancy hormones, coping with a pregnant wife, etc. etc. etc.  May be my last post in this can be a quick one on all the points I missed in the previous posts...

ANYWAY...

Stage 3-A: Labor (Pre-Hospital)

You might want a cup of coffee, may be a light snack for this one. 

Tax season finally came to a close, our 3rd as a married couple.  It really wasn't that bad, especially considering Tiffany was 5-9 months pregnant during this period.  Our birthing class taught us that the average gestation ( is that right for a person?) is 41 1/7 weeks long.  So we weren't exactly expecting Zac to come on his due date.  We weren't freaking out when the due date came and went, after all, it's a shot in the dark and it's more surprising when they're right than wrong.  The doctors even tell you this.  Although, Tiffany was still hoping he would come soon.  After all, she's walking around with a 7 pound person inside of her!  You try it! :)  She was having some Braxton Hicks contractions for several days.  On Saturday, April 17 we decided we should get out and do something, it could be a while before we get another chance.  So we went to eat down at the beach with some friends.  The first restaurant in Emerald Isle had a long wait so we drove to Beaufort, nullifying any wait we would have had in Emerald Isle, and ate at Clawson's.  Where we also had a wait.  Tiffany and I started timing contractions on the drive to Beaufort.  It was when the check came after dinner when our companions first realized that we were doing this.  They were pretty shocked and a little nervous, but they got over that pretty quickly.  The contractions were pretty consistent anywhere from 8-10 minutes apart.  We continued to time them as we drove home and they were a little less consistent, but we were pretty sure this was it.

Our goal was to make it to the hospital as late as possible.  But after timing contractions and when they got about 4-5 minutes apart we decided to head out.  We did have to get to Greenville.  On the way the contractions became less consistent.  Which we knew could happen.  Excitement can stall and slow labor.  We went ahead to the hospital and were very disappointed when the dilation was only 2 cm.  We spent close to 2 hours I think getting information in, sitting in triage, and convincing the nurses we did in fact want to leave and not be checked in to the hospital.  The mid-wife, who was also great, helped in the process of convincing these nurses we were not crazy.  So we checked into the hotel across the street.  This actually was a great plan I think.  It gave us the confidence to wait as long as possible since the hospital was right across the street.

Things still didn't progress quite like we thought.  Sunday morning the contractions were getting much stronger and closer.  We were using everything we learned from our birthing class and things were going very well.  We waited and waited and then called our mid-wife.  She met us at her office, only about 2 miles away, so she could do another exam without the ordeal of going through triage again.  6 cm.  WHAT?!  That's it!  Back to the hotel.  Another few hours, I think around 2:00 pm now; back to the mid-wife.  7-8 cm.  You have got to be kidding me!  We decide to head to the hospital now because we are fairly far along and there is no predicting if the final few cm will be quick or slow... they were slow. 

At the hospital....

Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 2)

Welcome back,



Stage 2: Preparing for a Child

Stage two really has a part A and part B.  I heard you sigh!  Yes, I am apparently going to drag this out through as many posts as I possibly can.  Sorry.  But at least you have the freedom to stop reading.  However, I urge you to press on.  Part A is preparing for birth, part B is preparing for the child.

So Tiffany is a researcher.  We had already been through a dramatic change in our eating habits spurred on by a mentor of Tiffany's in Iowa.  She really makes sure our family has the information we need to make wise family decisions.  This continued right on into the birth planning stage.  She dove head first into researching birth, birth methods and birth classes.  She asked one day if we could do a birthing class.  The closest was in Jacksonville 1 night a week for 12 weeks and would cost about $250.  I was certain New Bern had to have a birth class, but I said yes, after all it didn't matter to me either way.  Boy was I wrong!  Without that class things would have been drastically different in the rest of what I plan to write about!  Looking back, I would pay 10 times that gladly to take that class and drive to Raleigh weekly.

The Bradley Method is a natural childbirth method.  Natural means no pitocin, no epidural, no Tylenol!  Ok, maybe Tylenol is ok.  Like most of you just did, I laughed when I first heard this, but again, I always trust Tiffany's research.  As we learned of all the side effects and risks of your typical child birth I became more and more a fan of this natural method.  Let me tell you though, if you go this route be prepared for the mockers and nay-sayers to come out in full swing. 

"Wait until she starts having contractions"
"She hasn't been in labor before, once she gets there she'll change her mind"
"Why wouldn't you want an epidural, they're safe"
"It's too much pain, it's impossible without an epidural"
"What are you, some tree hugging hippie"

We heard them all and many many more!  From EVERYBODY!  But we pressed forward, while trying to educate our nay-sayers on what we were learning. 

There's just too much to discuss in any written forum, but we'll be glad to share details in person.  In brief, we learned labor is... well, labor!  It's hard work.  Guess what else, epidurals haven't been around since Cain and Abel were born... women have done birth without them before!  Shocking, huh?  Also, most hospitals are pretty pushy when it comes to trying to give you an epidural, putting on the fetal monitor (which basically reduces mobility to zilch), doing exams, etc.  There were so many things we wanted to do differently than the standard hospital procedure and it was worrisome to go in knowing you may have to fight for some things.  I mean, this is our birth right?  Why can't we make the decisions?  This class gave us the knowledge we needed and the confidence to pull off the birth experience we were hoping for!  I highly recommend it to everyone.  It also included so many other things including good nutrition for pregnant moms.

I am so thankful for Tiffany's willingness to research things that affect our family and be diligent in making wise decisions.  It certainly paid off in this story!

Part b includes painting, buying baby stuff (mostly this is gifts which is nice so you don't spend the $$$), getting the nursery ready.  Most people know what's involved with this stage so we'll skip it for the sake of time.

Next: The Birth!  Please come back, this is the part that made me start this whole post to begin with...