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Friday, June 17, 2011

El Dia del Padre


I absolutely love being a dad.  It provides some of the greatest moments I think I will ever experience.  I've always loved kids and wanted kids of my own... ever since I was a kid myself.  Toddlers are great.  They say the craziest things.  Rachel (my niece) is almost 3 and is hilarious.  And cute as a button to boot.  It's easy to guess that I had high very high expectations going into parenthood.  Generally speaking, such unhealthy expectations lead to un-met expectations and disappointment.  However, mine have been far exceeded if you can believe it!  I could have never imagined the emotion, joy, pain, love, laughter, etc. etc. that have come in just 14 short months... well in just a few short hours actually, the very first day of Zac's post-womb life.

I could have never imagined or predicted the feeling that comes from something as simple as walking in the door after work.  If there is one thing I enjoy about being gone all day, it's the greeting when you get home.  They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  On a typical day, Zac sits in the sun room playing with some old pureed prune cups that have been re purposed as little containers and toys.  Ma-ma prepares dinner.  I'll swing by the mailbox and head into the house.  Sometimes Zac will hear me and come scooting towards me, but sometimes Tiffany has to tell him I'm home.  Last night, she called to him and said Da-da is home, but apparently he thinks ma-ma is not always telling the truth, b/c he didn’t budge.  So I peaked around the corner of the kitchen door and spotted him with his seashells and containers.  He saw me immediately and shells and containers went flying across the room as he belly flopped onto the tile floor and was off chanting daddy, daddy, daddy all the way through the sun room, through the dining room, into the kitchen around the high chair and counter until he got to me where he continued to chant daddy while bouncing on his belly with his arms straight out waiting to be picked up.  He kind of looks like a fish out of water at this point.  Once picked up he starts asking for the mail and I'm not his focus anymore.  But he is still mine.  Nothing, not even a much better written description than the one above, can convey the feeling at that moment.  You truly have to experience it to believe it.


I hate that my little man is growing so fast.  Baby Zac is gone.  Only in my memories and photos will I ever see him again.  Dramatic, I know, but it is true.  Toddler Zac is here and I love him just as much.  I hate that with every new stage, the old is gone forever.  Luckily the new stage is always enjoyable enough to make up for it!  


I can’t wait to see who he will be as a 3 year old, 10 year old, 25 year old!  I look forward to the things I will do with him then.  I can't wait to share my interests with him (this has already begun!) and to find out what different interest he has. And to pass on things I learned from my dad.  A large part of why I was so excited to be a parent is because I had such great parents and want to pass what I've learned on. I hope that I can be as good of a dad as mine has been... I have learned from one of the best.  I’ve learned to attend all Zac’s sporting events, even if he is just warming the bench.  To make him follow through on commitments and then thank me 10 years later for encouraging him not to quit.  To show him how to love his wife by watching me love Tiffany.  To perfectly balance challenging him to be better while showing him that I am already proud of his accomplishments.  To teach him the things that are most important in life above all the stuff and noise that the culture tells us is important.  All of which I have learned by watching.  I can’t wait... but at the same time I know it is going to come too fast.  


So for now, I’ll slow life down as often as possible and enjoy the belly scooting, daddy chanting little 14 month old that loves me unconditionally.