I can hear your applause from my house. It sounds like the RBC center when the refs finally call a foul on UNC. I told you way back that you didn't have to read the whole thing. It's your own fault you've wasted all this time reading my thoughts about Zac's birth. Ha, that's how I got you into this whole thing, telling you it was about his birth and then proceeding to write about everything from conception to whatever is included in this final post.
"Get on it with already!" sorry...
How to wrap it up? If I haven't mentioned it already, take a birthing class. Take a birthing class! We highly recommend The Bradley Method. Looking back I can't imagine how anyone goes into labor and delivery without some sort of extended class ahead of time. It made all the difference in the world for our experience. I can't believe it's been a year and a few months since we found out Tiffany was pregnant. Life is already going by so fast. Zac is 6 months old and doing amazing! I love him so much as I can tell Tiffany does too. He's so funny, animated and has an awesome personality. Usually having high expectations creates disappointment. But having a son has been better than I could have ever imagined. I love it! I can't wait to start teaching him things. To teach him to like things I like and to find out what he likes. To see myself in him and to see differences in him. God creates us all with a purpose and with likes and dislikes. I really like a lot of things I do, but I think God created me to be a Dad. I think everyone should have kids if God gives them the ability, but I really think He gave me an extra desire to be a Dad (see below for how many kids we want). It took so many posts to get just this stuff out, and I left out so much I could have said. I wish you could see it in video format! :) (That doesn't exist by the way). But you still barely have a glimpse of the emotions and everything we experienced during this.
Well, I guess I will leave you with that. I also must mention, Tiffany was nothing like what I hear pregnant women are like. She had no weird cravings in the middle of the night. I never had to make a run to McDonald's at 2 am. It was pretty much normal living with her when she was pregnant. I guess I'm lucky. And during delivery, there was no "YOU DID THIS TO ME" or anything. It was really a great experience.
That is all for now. We still plan to have 3-4 more children at this point. So you can stay tuned. After all, I will have to write 6 blog posts for each of them, or else they will feel less loved because we were less excited about them, or love them less because they weren't the first child. :) Thanks for reading, I have enjoyed sharing it.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 5)
Stage 4: Stuck in the Hospital
So Zac is sleeping, or laying around or whatever, either way the labor is over and I don't remember what was going on now but things were peaceful. I had a banana around 9 am. and some water throughout the day. I didn't get any ice cream when the nurses did. So this is where I go through some nausea and get some dinner in me. I slept well that night. Nurses were in and out, Tiffany is talking to them, can't hold my eyes open. She's nursed Zac once I think. I was there for that. My eyes open, they're helping her back from the bathroom. Then it's morning. Monday morning... we're probably going home this afternoon. Nausea again, real bad, for me. Lack of food I think. The nurses won't check me out, I'll have to go to the ER for that, I'm not doing that, I manage to get some food in me and things are ok again. Monday is spent watching TV, having nurses do check ups (we've met 10 of them now probably). They're all pretty nice, of course we have our favorites. Nursing isn't going so well. That junk is hard! And you have to be committed if you're going to make it. (I'm talking 3-4 weeks, 6-8 weeks after birth nursing was HARD!). They have a specialist who helps. She's a little pushy. From my perspective she's slamming Zac's head into his 'plate', I couldn't eat that way. Another lady was much more gentle and Zac appeared to like her better as well. His temp was up and down on Monday and something else wasn't so great, I forget what. So we have to hang around until that stabilizes. We are one checkup away from him being put in the incubator and taken from us. If this checkup isn't normal temp and consistent with the last we'll be alone in our room and he'll be alone in some crib somewhere. It was consistent! Another hurdle cleared. It's too late to come home though. We're staying another night.
That second night wasn't bad either. I had nausea again Tuesday morning until I managed to get some food down... I don't know what the deal was. No we're hanging around and they won't let us go because Zac hasn't pooped yet. Um... that's because he got all of it out in the womb. He also hadn't peed yet, which was a little worrisome. Just let us go home, he'll pee eventually! I think around 12 he finally peed and I don't think we've ever been so relieved in our lives! Another 2 or 3 hours went by before they checked us out. (The nursing was a bigger ordeal than it reads, so was this whole not peeing thing and his temperature fluctuating, I could write a book if I went into all the details). It was just one thing after another and it felt soooooo good to get in the car around 5 pm on Tuesday to go home.
Every nurse we had, 3 or 4 during delivery, complemented Tiffany and I on the labor process. They had never seen a couple handle things so well. (I'm not exaggerating, or trying to brag). But it was nice to have that recognition. After all, we put a lot of prep into this with a 12 week class and all the other prep the class had us do on our own time. Having that class was great! Have I mentioned that already? :) And apparently it showed with how we carried ourselves in the hospital. I know it did with Tiffany because I was watching her.
She made it without an epidural or any pain killers... nothing! We did do some pitocin to increase contractions, but that lasted about 45 minutes compared to many hours for a typical hospital birth. Even through 3.5 hours of pushing Tiffany was able to handle the pain. Looking back, neither of us would change a thing about how it went down. It was such a growing experience and brought us so much closer together having to get through the adversity we went through. I know many labor and birth stories are more trying than ours, but this was by far the most difficult, scariest thing I've ever been through and I'm glad we were in it together. Tiffany was amazing, and I find it hard to believe that anybody, anywhere has labored better than she did that day.
(Hang in there, you're doing great. Only 1 more post!)
Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 4)
Stage 3-B: Labor & Delivery (In the Hospital)
So we made our way back to the hospital. The mid-wife called ahead for us and our mission was accomplished... we had waited long enough that we skipped triage and went straight into a labor and delivery room. Well, almost straight in. First was the stop at the desk to give ALL your personal info to the lady behind the desk. Tiffany is now sitting in a chair having contractions every 2-3 minutes and the lady insists "I know honey, just a few more questions". As she asked the last question (from her that is, no where near the actual last question) our mid-wife walked in. We were lead to our room. Finally! It's really happening now, we are in the room where we will see our son. I'm thinking just another 2 may be 3 hours at the most now. It's 2 pm, if I remember correctly. Could be a little earlier. We get our first of 4 or 5 nurses that we would go through. She continues the questions. I try to answer them all, but apparently she just didn't get it. She insisted on directing every question to Tiffany even though I kept answering them all.... um... hello, she's in labor and I'm just standing here. I will be glad to answer your questions for you. thank you :) In between the barrage of questions the nurse and mid-wife both yell to the other nurse in the hall "I'll have a sundae". Wait, what? My wife is in late stages of labor and you're ordering ice cream... We found out the following day they come around every afternoon and apparently not even delivery can keep these women from getting their ice cream. Tiffany kept her breathing very steady, normal and deep as we had learned. None of this special breathing stuff which can lead to hyperventilation. Tiff was up and walking around and leaning on me during contractions.
Then it came, only 30 minutes or an hour into being at the hospital. The urge to push. Exam, 9 cm. Crap. Ok we'll wait. May be 15-30 more minutes. Ok, I have to push. Exam, still about 9 cm, but probably ok if you want to push. Ok we're pushing. (hindsight is 20-20, too early to push). This is where it gets fun.
We're now pushing, ok sorry, Tiffany is pushing. I'm moral support. But we're in this together and I'd argue (with Tiffany's agreement) she couldn't have done this with out me. So yes, we're pushing now. The mid-wife and our second nurse (i think we're on nurse two now) are very encouraging. We're prepared, pushing can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours for a normal pregnancy. We're shooting for the 30 minute mark, but that came and went. We're in different labor positions. The mid-wife says we're making progress (I think now she was lying to us). The hour mark slides by, the 1.5 hour mark slides by, we're now around 2 hours of pushing with each contraction every 1.5 -2 minutes. I can see the toll it's taking on Tiffany and her energy. The mid-wife tells us we're making progress, I can't see any. I don't think Tiffany can feel any. This is when I start to realize our 'typical', 'normal' birth may not be. I'm a little nervous at this point, but still under control and calm. Tiffany appears as though it's not phasing her a bit. No worry or anything. All business.
Calling a Dr. is now mentioned... I think by us. We're asking, how much longer will you let us go without intervening. (usually hospitals will only allow you to be in the pushing phase for 2 hours max before intervening). Our mid-wife continues to stall us, knowing that we don't want to call the Dr. She knew our birth plan, and knew we were only asking out of fear or whatever it was, so she stalled us. I am very thankful for that. We decided around 2.5-3 hours to hook Tiffany up to an IV to get some pitocin to make the contractions stronger. This will help in pushing Zac out... and it did. 15-20 minutes in, after the pitocin was increased, I saw the little guy's head. I thought surely we're home free. But that was it as far as the progress goes for another 30 minutes probably (i'm not sure if my time is adding up correctly). This is about where I lost it. I was pissed. Mostly with God. Why are you putting my wife through this. This is painful, this is exhausting. STOP IT PLEASE! I mean, she's been pushing somewhere around 3hrs or a little more now. It's never freaking going to end! Tiffany very calmly (she was very calm in between contractions, and even calm during them) asked me what was the matter ( I admit it, I was crying). what... she's asking me what's wrong? That's right, she was so strong through the whole thing! I was/am so very proud of her. The decision is made for the doctor to come in. I'm back in control of myself now. Just a little 5 minute lapse there... I'm entitled, Tiffany was too, but she chose not to have her moment... just as well. The Dr. explains our options in between contractions. We choose the vacuum. Zac was basically turned and not coming on his own. Vacuum was the best option we thought vs c-section, which no body really thought was necessary and the vice grips, or whatever they are. So the Dr. prepares the vacuum, it's not what I expected. No hoover or anything. A simple, manual suction tool. 3 pushes and Zac is out! We have son! Dr. screams NICU... man they are there in 30 seconds. They look like the cast from The Big Bang Theory and they're in the corner with Zac only talking amongst themselves. Zac is crying, he's breathing, he's ok, they're sucking his poop out of his lungs (he had the meconium stuff going on, like father like son). Tiff and I have a moment to rejoice, to relax. The Dr. starts stitching her up. We talk with him. It's actually a very pleasant conversation and atmosphere. He left a bible study to come deliver Zac... they're all praying for the delivery. God is good. I was screaming and cussing at him earlier, He makes sure to take the time to reassure me He was in this. He's got this. He knows what He's doing. I apologize to Him and thank Him. My God is good. Our plans changed some in this story, but His never did.
Zac is clean now and I get to go check him out. Um... excuse me, can someone tell me if his head will ever be normal? There's a ring from the vacuum, not to mention his head is a cone! Yea yea, that will all take care of itself.... Ok, but I'm putting this beanie on his head when I take pictures so people won't notice :) You will not find a picture from the hospital without that beanie on his head, I mad sure of it that such a picture does not exist. I was worried about this, it was kind of creepie I will admit (I hear all babies come out that way, and it is normal now, well as normal as mine anyway).
Ahhh... relief. We're done. 7.30 pm on Sunday. Haha, yea right.... we didn't leave the hospital for another 45 hours....
So we made our way back to the hospital. The mid-wife called ahead for us and our mission was accomplished... we had waited long enough that we skipped triage and went straight into a labor and delivery room. Well, almost straight in. First was the stop at the desk to give ALL your personal info to the lady behind the desk. Tiffany is now sitting in a chair having contractions every 2-3 minutes and the lady insists "I know honey, just a few more questions". As she asked the last question (from her that is, no where near the actual last question) our mid-wife walked in. We were lead to our room. Finally! It's really happening now, we are in the room where we will see our son. I'm thinking just another 2 may be 3 hours at the most now. It's 2 pm, if I remember correctly. Could be a little earlier. We get our first of 4 or 5 nurses that we would go through. She continues the questions. I try to answer them all, but apparently she just didn't get it. She insisted on directing every question to Tiffany even though I kept answering them all.... um... hello, she's in labor and I'm just standing here. I will be glad to answer your questions for you. thank you :) In between the barrage of questions the nurse and mid-wife both yell to the other nurse in the hall "I'll have a sundae". Wait, what? My wife is in late stages of labor and you're ordering ice cream... We found out the following day they come around every afternoon and apparently not even delivery can keep these women from getting their ice cream. Tiffany kept her breathing very steady, normal and deep as we had learned. None of this special breathing stuff which can lead to hyperventilation. Tiff was up and walking around and leaning on me during contractions.
Then it came, only 30 minutes or an hour into being at the hospital. The urge to push. Exam, 9 cm. Crap. Ok we'll wait. May be 15-30 more minutes. Ok, I have to push. Exam, still about 9 cm, but probably ok if you want to push. Ok we're pushing. (hindsight is 20-20, too early to push). This is where it gets fun.
We're now pushing, ok sorry, Tiffany is pushing. I'm moral support. But we're in this together and I'd argue (with Tiffany's agreement) she couldn't have done this with out me. So yes, we're pushing now. The mid-wife and our second nurse (i think we're on nurse two now) are very encouraging. We're prepared, pushing can take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours for a normal pregnancy. We're shooting for the 30 minute mark, but that came and went. We're in different labor positions. The mid-wife says we're making progress (I think now she was lying to us). The hour mark slides by, the 1.5 hour mark slides by, we're now around 2 hours of pushing with each contraction every 1.5 -2 minutes. I can see the toll it's taking on Tiffany and her energy. The mid-wife tells us we're making progress, I can't see any. I don't think Tiffany can feel any. This is when I start to realize our 'typical', 'normal' birth may not be. I'm a little nervous at this point, but still under control and calm. Tiffany appears as though it's not phasing her a bit. No worry or anything. All business.
Calling a Dr. is now mentioned... I think by us. We're asking, how much longer will you let us go without intervening. (usually hospitals will only allow you to be in the pushing phase for 2 hours max before intervening). Our mid-wife continues to stall us, knowing that we don't want to call the Dr. She knew our birth plan, and knew we were only asking out of fear or whatever it was, so she stalled us. I am very thankful for that. We decided around 2.5-3 hours to hook Tiffany up to an IV to get some pitocin to make the contractions stronger. This will help in pushing Zac out... and it did. 15-20 minutes in, after the pitocin was increased, I saw the little guy's head. I thought surely we're home free. But that was it as far as the progress goes for another 30 minutes probably (i'm not sure if my time is adding up correctly). This is about where I lost it. I was pissed. Mostly with God. Why are you putting my wife through this. This is painful, this is exhausting. STOP IT PLEASE! I mean, she's been pushing somewhere around 3hrs or a little more now. It's never freaking going to end! Tiffany very calmly (she was very calm in between contractions, and even calm during them) asked me what was the matter ( I admit it, I was crying). what... she's asking me what's wrong? That's right, she was so strong through the whole thing! I was/am so very proud of her. The decision is made for the doctor to come in. I'm back in control of myself now. Just a little 5 minute lapse there... I'm entitled, Tiffany was too, but she chose not to have her moment... just as well. The Dr. explains our options in between contractions. We choose the vacuum. Zac was basically turned and not coming on his own. Vacuum was the best option we thought vs c-section, which no body really thought was necessary and the vice grips, or whatever they are. So the Dr. prepares the vacuum, it's not what I expected. No hoover or anything. A simple, manual suction tool. 3 pushes and Zac is out! We have son! Dr. screams NICU... man they are there in 30 seconds. They look like the cast from The Big Bang Theory and they're in the corner with Zac only talking amongst themselves. Zac is crying, he's breathing, he's ok, they're sucking his poop out of his lungs (he had the meconium stuff going on, like father like son). Tiff and I have a moment to rejoice, to relax. The Dr. starts stitching her up. We talk with him. It's actually a very pleasant conversation and atmosphere. He left a bible study to come deliver Zac... they're all praying for the delivery. God is good. I was screaming and cussing at him earlier, He makes sure to take the time to reassure me He was in this. He's got this. He knows what He's doing. I apologize to Him and thank Him. My God is good. Our plans changed some in this story, but His never did.
Zac is clean now and I get to go check him out. Um... excuse me, can someone tell me if his head will ever be normal? There's a ring from the vacuum, not to mention his head is a cone! Yea yea, that will all take care of itself.... Ok, but I'm putting this beanie on his head when I take pictures so people won't notice :) You will not find a picture from the hospital without that beanie on his head, I mad sure of it that such a picture does not exist. I was worried about this, it was kind of creepie I will admit (I hear all babies come out that way, and it is normal now, well as normal as mine anyway).
Ahhh... relief. We're done. 7.30 pm on Sunday. Haha, yea right.... we didn't leave the hospital for another 45 hours....
Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 3)
Finally! The post on the actual labor and birth! The only thing I thought I was going to blog about when I started what has turned into a little mini series... I even skipped over the whole naming process, ultra-sounds, nursery prep, baby showers, pregnancy hormones, coping with a pregnant wife, etc. etc. etc. May be my last post in this can be a quick one on all the points I missed in the previous posts...
ANYWAY...
Stage 3-A: Labor (Pre-Hospital)
You might want a cup of coffee, may be a light snack for this one.
Tax season finally came to a close, our 3rd as a married couple. It really wasn't that bad, especially considering Tiffany was 5-9 months pregnant during this period. Our birthing class taught us that the average gestation ( is that right for a person?) is 41 1/7 weeks long. So we weren't exactly expecting Zac to come on his due date. We weren't freaking out when the due date came and went, after all, it's a shot in the dark and it's more surprising when they're right than wrong. The doctors even tell you this. Although, Tiffany was still hoping he would come soon. After all, she's walking around with a 7 pound person inside of her! You try it! :) She was having some Braxton Hicks contractions for several days. On Saturday, April 17 we decided we should get out and do something, it could be a while before we get another chance. So we went to eat down at the beach with some friends. The first restaurant in Emerald Isle had a long wait so we drove to Beaufort, nullifying any wait we would have had in Emerald Isle, and ate at Clawson's. Where we also had a wait. Tiffany and I started timing contractions on the drive to Beaufort. It was when the check came after dinner when our companions first realized that we were doing this. They were pretty shocked and a little nervous, but they got over that pretty quickly. The contractions were pretty consistent anywhere from 8-10 minutes apart. We continued to time them as we drove home and they were a little less consistent, but we were pretty sure this was it.
Our goal was to make it to the hospital as late as possible. But after timing contractions and when they got about 4-5 minutes apart we decided to head out. We did have to get to Greenville. On the way the contractions became less consistent. Which we knew could happen. Excitement can stall and slow labor. We went ahead to the hospital and were very disappointed when the dilation was only 2 cm. We spent close to 2 hours I think getting information in, sitting in triage, and convincing the nurses we did in fact want to leave and not be checked in to the hospital. The mid-wife, who was also great, helped in the process of convincing these nurses we were not crazy. So we checked into the hotel across the street. This actually was a great plan I think. It gave us the confidence to wait as long as possible since the hospital was right across the street.
Things still didn't progress quite like we thought. Sunday morning the contractions were getting much stronger and closer. We were using everything we learned from our birthing class and things were going very well. We waited and waited and then called our mid-wife. She met us at her office, only about 2 miles away, so she could do another exam without the ordeal of going through triage again. 6 cm. WHAT?! That's it! Back to the hotel. Another few hours, I think around 2:00 pm now; back to the mid-wife. 7-8 cm. You have got to be kidding me! We decide to head to the hospital now because we are fairly far along and there is no predicting if the final few cm will be quick or slow... they were slow.
At the hospital....
ANYWAY...
Stage 3-A: Labor (Pre-Hospital)
Tax season finally came to a close, our 3rd as a married couple. It really wasn't that bad, especially considering Tiffany was 5-9 months pregnant during this period. Our birthing class taught us that the average gestation ( is that right for a person?) is 41 1/7 weeks long. So we weren't exactly expecting Zac to come on his due date. We weren't freaking out when the due date came and went, after all, it's a shot in the dark and it's more surprising when they're right than wrong. The doctors even tell you this. Although, Tiffany was still hoping he would come soon. After all, she's walking around with a 7 pound person inside of her! You try it! :) She was having some Braxton Hicks contractions for several days. On Saturday, April 17 we decided we should get out and do something, it could be a while before we get another chance. So we went to eat down at the beach with some friends. The first restaurant in Emerald Isle had a long wait so we drove to Beaufort, nullifying any wait we would have had in Emerald Isle, and ate at Clawson's. Where we also had a wait. Tiffany and I started timing contractions on the drive to Beaufort. It was when the check came after dinner when our companions first realized that we were doing this. They were pretty shocked and a little nervous, but they got over that pretty quickly. The contractions were pretty consistent anywhere from 8-10 minutes apart. We continued to time them as we drove home and they were a little less consistent, but we were pretty sure this was it.
Our goal was to make it to the hospital as late as possible. But after timing contractions and when they got about 4-5 minutes apart we decided to head out. We did have to get to Greenville. On the way the contractions became less consistent. Which we knew could happen. Excitement can stall and slow labor. We went ahead to the hospital and were very disappointed when the dilation was only 2 cm. We spent close to 2 hours I think getting information in, sitting in triage, and convincing the nurses we did in fact want to leave and not be checked in to the hospital. The mid-wife, who was also great, helped in the process of convincing these nurses we were not crazy. So we checked into the hotel across the street. This actually was a great plan I think. It gave us the confidence to wait as long as possible since the hospital was right across the street.
Things still didn't progress quite like we thought. Sunday morning the contractions were getting much stronger and closer. We were using everything we learned from our birthing class and things were going very well. We waited and waited and then called our mid-wife. She met us at her office, only about 2 miles away, so she could do another exam without the ordeal of going through triage again. 6 cm. WHAT?! That's it! Back to the hotel. Another few hours, I think around 2:00 pm now; back to the mid-wife. 7-8 cm. You have got to be kidding me! We decide to head to the hospital now because we are fairly far along and there is no predicting if the final few cm will be quick or slow... they were slow.
At the hospital....
Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 2)
Welcome back,
Stage 2: Preparing for a Child
So Tiffany is a researcher. We had already been through a dramatic change in our eating habits spurred on by a mentor of Tiffany's in Iowa. She really makes sure our family has the information we need to make wise family decisions. This continued right on into the birth planning stage. She dove head first into researching birth, birth methods and birth classes. She asked one day if we could do a birthing class. The closest was in Jacksonville 1 night a week for 12 weeks and would cost about $250. I was certain New Bern had to have a birth class, but I said yes, after all it didn't matter to me either way. Boy was I wrong! Without that class things would have been drastically different in the rest of what I plan to write about! Looking back, I would pay 10 times that gladly to take that class and drive to Raleigh weekly.
The Bradley Method is a natural childbirth method. Natural means no pitocin, no epidural, no Tylenol! Ok, maybe Tylenol is ok. Like most of you just did, I laughed when I first heard this, but again, I always trust Tiffany's research. As we learned of all the side effects and risks of your typical child birth I became more and more a fan of this natural method. Let me tell you though, if you go this route be prepared for the mockers and nay-sayers to come out in full swing.
"Wait until she starts having contractions"
"She hasn't been in labor before, once she gets there she'll change her mind"
"Why wouldn't you want an epidural, they're safe"
"It's too much pain, it's impossible without an epidural"
"What are you, some tree hugging hippie"
We heard them all and many many more! From EVERYBODY! But we pressed forward, while trying to educate our nay-sayers on what we were learning.
There's just too much to discuss in any written forum, but we'll be glad to share details in person. In brief, we learned labor is... well, labor! It's hard work. Guess what else, epidurals haven't been around since Cain and Abel were born... women have done birth without them before! Shocking, huh? Also, most hospitals are pretty pushy when it comes to trying to give you an epidural, putting on the fetal monitor (which basically reduces mobility to zilch), doing exams, etc. There were so many things we wanted to do differently than the standard hospital procedure and it was worrisome to go in knowing you may have to fight for some things. I mean, this is our birth right? Why can't we make the decisions? This class gave us the knowledge we needed and the confidence to pull off the birth experience we were hoping for! I highly recommend it to everyone. It also included so many other things including good nutrition for pregnant moms.
I am so thankful for Tiffany's willingness to research things that affect our family and be diligent in making wise decisions. It certainly paid off in this story!
Part b includes painting, buying baby stuff (mostly this is gifts which is nice so you don't spend the $$$), getting the nursery ready. Most people know what's involved with this stage so we'll skip it for the sake of time.
Next: The Birth! Please come back, this is the part that made me start this whole post to begin with...
Stage 2: Preparing for a Child
Stage two really has a part A and part B. I heard you sigh! Yes, I am apparently going to drag this out through as many posts as I possibly can. Sorry. But at least you have the freedom to stop reading. However, I urge you to press on. Part A is preparing for birth, part B is preparing for the child.
The Bradley Method is a natural childbirth method. Natural means no pitocin, no epidural, no Tylenol! Ok, maybe Tylenol is ok. Like most of you just did, I laughed when I first heard this, but again, I always trust Tiffany's research. As we learned of all the side effects and risks of your typical child birth I became more and more a fan of this natural method. Let me tell you though, if you go this route be prepared for the mockers and nay-sayers to come out in full swing.
"Wait until she starts having contractions"
"She hasn't been in labor before, once she gets there she'll change her mind"
"Why wouldn't you want an epidural, they're safe"
"It's too much pain, it's impossible without an epidural"
"What are you, some tree hugging hippie"
We heard them all and many many more! From EVERYBODY! But we pressed forward, while trying to educate our nay-sayers on what we were learning.
There's just too much to discuss in any written forum, but we'll be glad to share details in person. In brief, we learned labor is... well, labor! It's hard work. Guess what else, epidurals haven't been around since Cain and Abel were born... women have done birth without them before! Shocking, huh? Also, most hospitals are pretty pushy when it comes to trying to give you an epidural, putting on the fetal monitor (which basically reduces mobility to zilch), doing exams, etc. There were so many things we wanted to do differently than the standard hospital procedure and it was worrisome to go in knowing you may have to fight for some things. I mean, this is our birth right? Why can't we make the decisions? This class gave us the knowledge we needed and the confidence to pull off the birth experience we were hoping for! I highly recommend it to everyone. It also included so many other things including good nutrition for pregnant moms.
I am so thankful for Tiffany's willingness to research things that affect our family and be diligent in making wise decisions. It certainly paid off in this story!
Part b includes painting, buying baby stuff (mostly this is gifts which is nice so you don't spend the $$$), getting the nursery ready. Most people know what's involved with this stage so we'll skip it for the sake of time.
Next: The Birth! Please come back, this is the part that made me start this whole post to begin with...
A MUST READ: Birth - A Man's Perspective (Part 1)
So I've been slack obviously in getting this one posted given the fact that Zac is now 6.5 months old. I think I remember well enough still to post a blog entry on this. I'll go ahead and apologize because this could get lengthy... if it does maybe I can split it into multiple posts.
Stage 1: Planning to have a Child
This is arguably the best stage because it includes the 'getting pregnant' step. However, it's tough to beat the birth stage where you see your child for the first time... I've always loved children, toddlers in particular. Ever since I was 12 probably. They speak in half sentences and made up words, it's just hilarious. Who doesn't enjoy a fun-loving toddler? I've also always looked forward to participating in the creation of another human being. I mean, what else in life can you do that comes anywhere close to the magnitude of making a person? Are you kidding me! And to see characteristics of myself and Tiffany, not to mention extended family members, all shining through one person. Wow! All that to say, it was tough to wait this long to have a child; for me anyway. With that said, we were level headed enough to know we needed some time as a couple before putting kids in the mix. 3 years was perfect! I'm 26, Tiff is 25... also good ages I think to have a first child. But more important I think is the time together as a married couple vs. your age.
So Tiffany and I decided we were 'ready'. Whatever that means, because you will certainly doubt that decision after it's been made :) Tiffany was pretty certain, and by certain I mean about 200% certain that God was preparing her for a tough and long road to pregnancy. Once we made the final decision, by that I obviously mean we pulled the goalie and stopped preventing pregnancy, it was 1.5 months before we got the little blue plus sign! Tiffany took the pregnancy test on the morning of our 3 year anniversary... I couldn't have planned it any better myself. Thanks for the anniversary gift God!
Well that didn't take nearly as long as Tiffany was thinking... haha. We checked the old pregnancy wheel, whatever it is called, and the due date was 4/15/2010. Again, another little piece of humor putting Zac's due date right on Tax Day. Needless to say, we were beyond excited (not about the due date, but about being pregnant). We were in Florida at the time so Zac has a Florida shirt that I bought him because I wanted to be the first person to get him something. However, all I could find was a 12 month size so be on the lookout in the next few months for this shirt to make an appearance :)
This concluded stage 1: planning and launched us straight into stage 2: preparing for a child.
(I have way more to say about this than I originally thought, this will be several posts... stay tuned as this may have 2-3 more continuations)
Stage 1: Planning to have a Child
This is arguably the best stage because it includes the 'getting pregnant' step. However, it's tough to beat the birth stage where you see your child for the first time... I've always loved children, toddlers in particular. Ever since I was 12 probably. They speak in half sentences and made up words, it's just hilarious. Who doesn't enjoy a fun-loving toddler? I've also always looked forward to participating in the creation of another human being. I mean, what else in life can you do that comes anywhere close to the magnitude of making a person? Are you kidding me! And to see characteristics of myself and Tiffany, not to mention extended family members, all shining through one person. Wow! All that to say, it was tough to wait this long to have a child; for me anyway. With that said, we were level headed enough to know we needed some time as a couple before putting kids in the mix. 3 years was perfect! I'm 26, Tiff is 25... also good ages I think to have a first child. But more important I think is the time together as a married couple vs. your age.
So Tiffany and I decided we were 'ready'. Whatever that means, because you will certainly doubt that decision after it's been made :) Tiffany was pretty certain, and by certain I mean about 200% certain that God was preparing her for a tough and long road to pregnancy. Once we made the final decision, by that I obviously mean we pulled the goalie and stopped preventing pregnancy, it was 1.5 months before we got the little blue plus sign! Tiffany took the pregnancy test on the morning of our 3 year anniversary... I couldn't have planned it any better myself. Thanks for the anniversary gift God!
Well that didn't take nearly as long as Tiffany was thinking... haha. We checked the old pregnancy wheel, whatever it is called, and the due date was 4/15/2010. Again, another little piece of humor putting Zac's due date right on Tax Day. Needless to say, we were beyond excited (not about the due date, but about being pregnant). We were in Florida at the time so Zac has a Florida shirt that I bought him because I wanted to be the first person to get him something. However, all I could find was a 12 month size so be on the lookout in the next few months for this shirt to make an appearance :)
This concluded stage 1: planning and launched us straight into stage 2: preparing for a child.
(I have way more to say about this than I originally thought, this will be several posts... stay tuned as this may have 2-3 more continuations)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Spiritual Wasteland
There are certain types of posts I put on here usually, and this is not one of them. This would normally go in a journal where no one else would read it. Yea, I journal. About 5 times a year. I do wish I did it more often though because it's great to go back and read. But anyway, this one is public this time for some reason.
Wasteland is much more appropriate I think than desert or valley or whatever you want to come up with. Deserts have vegetation. But wastelands have nothing. No productivity. They are uncultivated, devastated and barren. I feel like that is where we are right now spiritually. We've had our peaks and valleys like everyone, but sometimes you just get stuck in a rut. It's not one of those you get into and don't realize. It's one where you watch yourself heading right for it, but you don't steer away and eventually you go right into it knowing full well what you've done. Then you either get comfortable or you look at the depth of the rut and know you simply can't get out. I feel like I've been in 2-wheel drive trying to get out and now I think recently it's just been in park. (sorry for the 4-wheelin' analogy). I know exactly where I want to be. But it's a long way from here and I'm not sure how to get there sometimes. I know the steps to take to get there, but something holds me back. I think it is experience. The first few steps are usually easy enough. But it's that tough second mile, before the runner's high, that does me in every time.
As a family, Tiffany and I haven't prayed together in a long time. We haven't read the Word together. We haven't served together. We haven't worshiped together. Our marriage is going along just fine. But I don't want fine. I want great. Well, don't take that the wrong way, it is great. But there are some things missing that would make it even better. We also don't have others that we pray with, worship with and serve with. Two crucial elements that need to be in place and soon. We're heading into our 4th tax/busy season since we got married. It's a tough time for us, because our time together drops significantly. The past three have been good. This one could be much tougher if we don't get back into leaning on and trusting God. It will already be tougher as we bring Zac into the changing dynamics of our daily lives. That sounds so dramatic, but literally everything changes during tax season.
We are too comfortable currently and going about our life on our own strength. We need something to trust God with. To step out in faith and watch Him come through. Or simply to be in awe of who He is and to be able to just worship Him. May be it will be tax season that forces us to Him, but I certainly hope we can figure it out before then. :)
Wasteland is much more appropriate I think than desert or valley or whatever you want to come up with. Deserts have vegetation. But wastelands have nothing. No productivity. They are uncultivated, devastated and barren. I feel like that is where we are right now spiritually. We've had our peaks and valleys like everyone, but sometimes you just get stuck in a rut. It's not one of those you get into and don't realize. It's one where you watch yourself heading right for it, but you don't steer away and eventually you go right into it knowing full well what you've done. Then you either get comfortable or you look at the depth of the rut and know you simply can't get out. I feel like I've been in 2-wheel drive trying to get out and now I think recently it's just been in park. (sorry for the 4-wheelin' analogy). I know exactly where I want to be. But it's a long way from here and I'm not sure how to get there sometimes. I know the steps to take to get there, but something holds me back. I think it is experience. The first few steps are usually easy enough. But it's that tough second mile, before the runner's high, that does me in every time.
As a family, Tiffany and I haven't prayed together in a long time. We haven't read the Word together. We haven't served together. We haven't worshiped together. Our marriage is going along just fine. But I don't want fine. I want great. Well, don't take that the wrong way, it is great. But there are some things missing that would make it even better. We also don't have others that we pray with, worship with and serve with. Two crucial elements that need to be in place and soon. We're heading into our 4th tax/busy season since we got married. It's a tough time for us, because our time together drops significantly. The past three have been good. This one could be much tougher if we don't get back into leaning on and trusting God. It will already be tougher as we bring Zac into the changing dynamics of our daily lives. That sounds so dramatic, but literally everything changes during tax season.
We are too comfortable currently and going about our life on our own strength. We need something to trust God with. To step out in faith and watch Him come through. Or simply to be in awe of who He is and to be able to just worship Him. May be it will be tax season that forces us to Him, but I certainly hope we can figure it out before then. :)
Monday, November 1, 2010
Limited by a Child?
By strict definition, yea, children can be a hindrance (or hinderance, apparently both are correct). They can certainly interfere with or delay your actions. Such as when a diaper needs to be changed immediately after a previous diaper was changed and you're already late for church. They can also limit you from taking certain actions or participating in certain activities, though this is more your choice most of the time vs. an actual constraint b/c you have a child. For example you may choose to leave a movie early b/c the baby sitter called and your child is crying at home. The child crying causes you to go home, but you didn't actually HAVE to. Or you choose not to go out to eat b/c it's harder with a child, but you could still go out to eat, it's not like you're actually limited to eating at home all the time. So you can make up your own mind on these types of examples...
I think the longest Tiffany and I have left Zac with someone else has been about 45 mins to an hour. With him nursing it's hard to leave for much more than 3-4 hours anyway. (we could pump and leave him for longer, we aren't against that, but that's a whole 'nother post. Short answer: we don't do that). As far as overnight trips go, we take Zac. We always plan to take him, and any other children. Tiffany and I may take some weekend trips alone, b/c they are important too. But as far as 99% of our trips go, they are family vacations and our children will be taken on them.
This past weekend we went to the mountains. We hiked up to the lower part of Linville Falls. We did it with a stroller. We started to turn around after a short hike that didn't get us all the way to the lower part of the falls. We were then coaxed by friends into going farther. The stroller may have played a part in our initial decision, but honestly, I don't think it did. After all, we went 2 years ago without any kids and turned around at the same spot. Laziness: yes, limited by a child: no. We also could have easily prepared and taken one of those back-pack baby carrier things and hiked all the way to the top. Making it to the lower portion that we hiked to definitely took more effort because we had Zac with us. Most things we do now take more effort becuase he is with us. However, nothing we have wanted or thought about doing has been impossible because of him. We still eat out, we still take trips, we still hike Linville Falls, camp, go to football games, etc. Come to think of it, I can't think of one thing we used to do that we don't do anymore because we now have Zac with us. There also isn't anything we leave him behind on so that we can do it. I would say most parents who feel limited by children feel that way because they choose to avoid the extra effort, not because the actual activity is impossible.
We have changed some behaviors. We will get home earlier than we used to. Stop more frequently on long trips. Take longer getting ready in the morning, thus cutting out some time we have during the day on vacations. Yea, things have changed, but I wouldn't say any of our activities have been eliminated.
Even if it were impossible to participate in certain activities with a child (I'm sure there are some, may be we are just boring), I would not feel limited by Zac. After all, how can he limit us, we chose to have him. We chose to take him to the mountains instead of leaving him with a sitter so that we could more easily participate in activities such as hiking to the falls. I loved the falls, they were beautiful. But if I were unable to make it because my son was with me, I made that choice. I would make it the same way a million times over. I would rather spend my time sitting on my living room floor watching Zac laugh than do anything in the world. I would also rather do some of those things with him vs. sitting on the living room floor. I am not limited by him, and I choose to put forth any extra effort it takes to have him with me because he and Tiffany are the most important things in my life. If I'm not with them, what's the point of seeing Linville Falls, who am I sharing that moment with anyway?
So if you plan to have kids... Will they limit what you can do: I don't think so. Will you need to put forth more effort, possibly be a little more selfless: yea. Either way, will it be worth it: Absolutely!
I think the longest Tiffany and I have left Zac with someone else has been about 45 mins to an hour. With him nursing it's hard to leave for much more than 3-4 hours anyway. (we could pump and leave him for longer, we aren't against that, but that's a whole 'nother post. Short answer: we don't do that). As far as overnight trips go, we take Zac. We always plan to take him, and any other children. Tiffany and I may take some weekend trips alone, b/c they are important too. But as far as 99% of our trips go, they are family vacations and our children will be taken on them.
This past weekend we went to the mountains. We hiked up to the lower part of Linville Falls. We did it with a stroller. We started to turn around after a short hike that didn't get us all the way to the lower part of the falls. We were then coaxed by friends into going farther. The stroller may have played a part in our initial decision, but honestly, I don't think it did. After all, we went 2 years ago without any kids and turned around at the same spot. Laziness: yes, limited by a child: no. We also could have easily prepared and taken one of those back-pack baby carrier things and hiked all the way to the top. Making it to the lower portion that we hiked to definitely took more effort because we had Zac with us. Most things we do now take more effort becuase he is with us. However, nothing we have wanted or thought about doing has been impossible because of him. We still eat out, we still take trips, we still hike Linville Falls, camp, go to football games, etc. Come to think of it, I can't think of one thing we used to do that we don't do anymore because we now have Zac with us. There also isn't anything we leave him behind on so that we can do it. I would say most parents who feel limited by children feel that way because they choose to avoid the extra effort, not because the actual activity is impossible.
We have changed some behaviors. We will get home earlier than we used to. Stop more frequently on long trips. Take longer getting ready in the morning, thus cutting out some time we have during the day on vacations. Yea, things have changed, but I wouldn't say any of our activities have been eliminated.
Even if it were impossible to participate in certain activities with a child (I'm sure there are some, may be we are just boring), I would not feel limited by Zac. After all, how can he limit us, we chose to have him. We chose to take him to the mountains instead of leaving him with a sitter so that we could more easily participate in activities such as hiking to the falls. I loved the falls, they were beautiful. But if I were unable to make it because my son was with me, I made that choice. I would make it the same way a million times over. I would rather spend my time sitting on my living room floor watching Zac laugh than do anything in the world. I would also rather do some of those things with him vs. sitting on the living room floor. I am not limited by him, and I choose to put forth any extra effort it takes to have him with me because he and Tiffany are the most important things in my life. If I'm not with them, what's the point of seeing Linville Falls, who am I sharing that moment with anyway?
So if you plan to have kids... Will they limit what you can do: I don't think so. Will you need to put forth more effort, possibly be a little more selfless: yea. Either way, will it be worth it: Absolutely!
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| Climbing the path... |
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| Making his way to the top! |
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| At the Falls |
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| At the Falls |
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